I just found myself praying a rather odd prayer. I prayed that God would keep me weak. It just seems to me that when I go through times when I feel weak and I don't know what's going on, then I cling to Christ. I've already said that I've been feeling a bit unsure of stuff and feeling anxious, well, the last couple of weeks I've really been excited about God and I've been seeking Him because He does know what's going on.

If it takes a little weakness and me feeling a bit odd for me to trust God more then fair enough. I'm all for it. I just don't want this to be another one of those times when I'm excited about God and I'm putting Him first, then a few days/weeks later in back to where I started. Somehow this feels a lot different though which is pretty exciting.

Yesterday at church I was really aware that God has saved me and just how much He's done for me. It's horrible how easily we can forget that, or get used to it. I know my blog has become a bit of a God thing lately, I'm not going to apologise for that. If anything or anyone is worth talking about it's God no? It's what's happening in my life right now, so I will talk about it.

I will get some pictures up here though..how long have I been meaning to do that! heh.

Sunny weather rocks.

Marmite - you either love it or hate it. I love it, and now there's Marmite Walkers crisps. Rockin!

Matthew 6v33
But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.

There's this constant message in my life at the moment that I need to put God totally first. If I'm repeating myself over and over then well, I'm not sorry, this is good stuff and I need to hear it, tell it myself and make sure I do it.

I feel I'm at the point right now where what ever I do is really crucial and I feel like I need so much wisdom, I don't want to screw it up, I need to be wise and I need to be fixed on the unmovable. I know God is bringing some amazing things my way but His timing is always best and it needs to right. I've been feeling anxious this week, nervous. There's a whole loads of reasons why, some of those are sooooo good, and it's cool. But it's like there's stuff I just can't see yet, I can't see a way through some things in my life and I really need to...I feel like I can't afford to get things wrong. I know Christ is always there to pick me up and make it good again but I think it's better to be wise from the start. Hee hee, I'm not always so hot at that, but I really want to be.

So, well, pray for me. I know it's vague, but well..God knows so you don't really have to :p

I'm listening to this right now, it rocks.

You are my Shelter

You are my Shelter
Providing comfort, rest and peace
The gentle shepherd of your sheep
You hold me tightly
Keeping me from any harm
There's so much comfort in your arms

You are like no other
Faithful in all You do
You are like no other
And I will trust in You

Your calming voice
Gives me strength to live each day
Fear and doubts are washed away
Your unchanging nature
Sustains me in uncertainty
Enduring faith for things unseen

Hey, go and visit Rhesa. She made me her Weekly site :) Thank you!

It's late. I will now sleep & dream rather nice dreams. nitey.

Life is a mess, it's messy.

Now, this is not a post about something bad, it's just something that I've really noticed. I used to have these plans and I used to think that life could be ordered and planned out, that everything could be kept neat and tidy. Perhaps I thought that I could be in control or something.

Well. I was wrong. I'm sure it can be neat and tidy and sometimes it does go to plan. I think for most people life is a mixture of half knowing what's going on and not really having any clue at all. If you're life makes sense and you understand every bit of it then..good for you, I don't think that's most peoples experience.

It's good though. I think it's better when I have no clue because then I rely on Christ. When I feel out of control then I have to trust that He is in control. When things get easy, comfortable and predictable then most of the time we start to put more hope in our own plans and abilities.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at here really..Just maybe that God is in control and that it's so much better that way. He is able to keep us from falling and present us spotless before the father. He knows every path we will tread and every situation we will face. If you start to really believe that then the future is much less scary, it might even become exciting! woo! ;)

Jude 1v24
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy

That's amazing, that He will keep me from falling and present me faultless. It seems impossible to me, but it's a promise. And the joy, He will present us and be completely overjoyed with us..WOW no?

Right now I have no idea that the future holds. I seriously don't. I have some idea of what I would like to happen but lately I think it's best to give that to God too...Give it all..it's safe with Him and if you give Him everything and trust Him completely then you wont be disappointed.

Ok, I waffle too much...where did I learn to waffle? I have no idea.

Philippians 2v1-4

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I just love it when I read something and my heart burns inside me. I want to write more...but I'm a little too excited....God is so good.

If it seems like I've dropped off the face of the Earth, it's because I have.

I tell ya, one minute I was just standing there, minding my own business, the next thing I know, I'm falling through the atmosphere..It really freaked me out!

Well, ok, that never happened..at least not in real life.

Jenn posted a cool picture on her photoblog entitled 'note to self'. It's a picture of her desk which a huge sign saying 'Obey God'. I will be definitely getting one of those!

I feel like I need to go and be very still and quiet and then pray lots. Life's so weird you need to take it all to God, well I do anyway.

I'm pretty exasperated with myself for all kinds of reasons.

I'm actually pretty ok lately. Happy and fairly peaceful, but man, If I take my focus off Jesus for even a second, all that crumbles again. I'm seeing just how fragile I really am, even how hopeless, without Christ constantly working in me. I'm not at all putting myself down when I say that, I don't have any self-worth problems or anything, I'm just being honest and realistic. My life rocks most when I'm weak and when I'm fully reliant on God. This week my focus has slowly moved off Christ and onto other things. The heart is so deceptive and sneaky, it's scary. There's nothing wrong with things I've been focusing on, people I've been putting trust in, but whenever any of that takes first place in my thoughts and my heart then it's bad news.

I think if you constantly put Christ first, above ALL things then you can't go far wrong, but it's such a battle sometimes. The battle is almost always with yourself. I need to keep a check on myself a little more closely.

God's always there to set you straight again :) I wish I could sometimes rip all the stuff away from my eyes that stop me seeing what God is really like, how much He truly loves me and all the things He's doing in my life. I feel so stupid sometimes, childish even, unable to control stuff happening in my life. Is that just me? or is that pretty common across the human race? I have no idea.

Saying all that, the sun is out and it's a beautiful day! A friend lent me a Jennifer Knapp cd. It's really good, I think I needed some new music.

I think a lot about standing. Ephesians 6v10-18 talks about the armour of God and also about standing firm.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.".

We're in a battle, I know that, and we are called to fight. We're also called to stand. When I think about that I get this picture of all this stuff coming against us, external stuff obviously, life, this and that, and also internal battles you fight in your own life, in your heart and mind. It seems to me that we are called to stand against this stuff, sometimes there will be fighting back, other times though it will just be a lot of standing strong. It's like when fierce waves crash against a sea wall or something, there's incredible pressure and sometimes damage but the structure must stand.

If you've put your trust in Christ you have the same power living in you that raised Christ from the dead and that created everything, because Christ lives in you! When you really realize that then even the biggest crashing waves are nothing compared to His power and might. In Christ and His power I can stand against anything.

Heh, it's easy to write about that, it's much harder to live it. I'll try give it my best shot though, how about you?

Right, now I will eat, then I will go and play in the sun! woo! I was only going to post and say I hadn't got much to say today. hmm :p

Say won't You say
Say that You love me
with love, ever, love, love everlasting?
All my devotion put into motion by You

Every morning I
have a chance to rise and give my all
but every afternoon I find I have only wasted time
In light of Your awe
Isn't love amazing, I forgot how to speak
knowing You are near and I am finally free

My eyes fear to close
this reckless letting go is hard to bear
on the edge of all I need, still I cling to what I see
and what have I there?
Bred my own disaster, who have I to blame?
all I need is waiting to be fanned to flame

As I open up my eyes to see You standing there
Oh I can barely breathe, and I can hardly bear
All the love that I feel for You inside
I hope You feel it now somehow

Say Won't You Say by Jennifer Knapp

It's quite amusing looking at where people have come from to get to your website, or what they typed into some search engine to get them here.

Someone got here by searching for 'a picture of somebody pointing there finger' on msn search.

This one is even better, this was a Google search: 'a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich book summary'

Well, that's all I really wanted to say about that..um, but just for the record, I'm no finger pointer! Ok?

Tired.

Youth prayer thingy went really well.

In fact it was totally encouraging. It was a good beginning, I think like everything it takes time to really get going but even tonight it was cool to see these guys praying for each other..and for me. We had a crazy sing too, and a bounce around. It was cool. Same again next week.

After the prayer meeting we were just chilling out and being silly. I was standing there and I felt really happy to be with these guys, but also like I was dreading not being with them once we left and I went home. It was weird. I thought nothing of it, locked up and dropped Dave off, then I felt really lonely. It really sucked for a minute until I started to pray about it. I went for a drive for 15 minutes to chill out about it. Actually I really enjoyed just driving, for the first time in ages I just drove. I'm usually driving somewhere or to something..just to drive for no reason was actually pretty relaxing.

I feel like God is going to do some amazing stuff. He is doing amazing stuff right now, it's really cool!

There may well be a war starting in a few hours. I'm so not sure what to think about that. It's scary on one hand, but I have to believe God's in control. I do believe that. All I know is that I have a responsibility to pray. So I guess that's all I can do.

Right, I need to go if I'm going to be in bed before 12am. I missed the 11:30 sleep window. hehe. Night goobers.

So. Last night I actually went to before 12am. Well, it was about 11:55pm..but it's a start. Maybe tonight I can try for...say....11:30pm. I have to get into this going to bed early thing.

I don't really have lots and lots to say right now. I wish I did, but I'm having a bit of a 'blanker', so stick with me heh? Show me some love.

Worship practice was good. Tomorrow night is youth prayer night thingy. I'm looking forward to that, I think it's going to rock!

Ok. That's about it for now. Sweet dreams.

Hey there.

I'm afraid I've been a bit of an internet slacker the last couple of days. I don't think this is a bad thing for me, it's good to take a break eh? It's only temporary I'm sure. I will reply to email and catchup on daily blogging and blog reading real soon. Promise.

Tonight I'm going to attempt to get to bed before midnight. A bit drastic, but I think I need to otherwise my body says there will be big trouble. Pesky body ;)

On Wednesday night we're getting the youth together to pray, I'm pretty excited about it, and they seem to be too. I'll let you know how that goes.

Ok. I need some pre-bed drinkage. Leave me messages of fun and um...stuff.

Yo.

Today has been really good. Dave and I did a bit of shopping, met Jon for lunch, then got some stuff ready for the Youth Event we were involved with tonight.

Tonight totally rocked. It was part organized by Dave's team and was all about Worship. I played Guitar and sung, along with Dave, Heather (Dave's team leader) and a couple of other guys playing bass and drums. It was really cool, we never played together before, I flew a few duff notes in for good measure (hehe) but it rocked.

The whole evening was rock. Heather spoke about how worship isn't just singing, that it's out lives, lived every day, offered up to God. I really want my life to be pleasing to God. I know sometimes I do and say stuff that isn't. I want to throw off that stuff and live for Jesus. Right now I'm so ready to go for it. There's stuff God's working out in me, I know that He's doing good things in my life and I feel like I'm sort of pointing in the right direction. I need to seek Him about my future, and I am, but I'm also really wanting to enjoy now, to live for Him now. God is so amazing, it blows my mind how much He loves me, how much He's done for me and how faithful and full of grace He is toward me.

So tonight was good. I feel good. I feel happy and I feel like I'm breaking through lots of stuff in my life which has been holding me back, wrong attitudes, all kinds of stuff, and it's good.

I want to keep typing to tell you how I feel and how excited I am about all kinds of stuff and how good tonight was but I'm limited by words. Some things are heart felt, not easily rendered my words.

Here are some good words.

I Was Lost (Like a Child)

I was lost without a trace,
All except for the eyes of heaven.
Now my Savior’s love has found me,
And His love has brought me home.

I can sleep in peace tonight,
I won’t worry about tomorrow,
Now I know my Daddy loves me,
And His perfect love will conquer all.

I’m like a child in His eyes,
And He will meet my needs
With all the riches of heaven;
And he loves me much too much
To let me go,
He will keep me in His love.

Heaven and earth may pass away,
And mountains fall into the ocean;
But His word is everlasting,
And His love goes on and on.

Paul Oakley Copyright © 1995

Still up pretty late..hmmm.

Ok, to bed. But tell me your plans for the weekend. *yawns*

I think I dreamt last night. I have the impression or feeling that there were dreams, but I can't remember any of it.

It was a silly experiment. Well, actually I just felt like eating cheese. The fact it was before bed was immaterial. heh.

The sun is out, I'm feeling good. Yay.

I did get the distinct impression when coming round from sleep this morning that my Heavenly Father was screaming in my ear "JAMES! WILL YOU PLEASE GET TO BED EARLIER?! COME ON! WORK WITH ME HERE!!!!!"

I think He has a point.

Heh. I just ate a fair amount of cheese before going to bed. Maybe now I'll have some interesting dreams.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Darn it. I feel weird today. I feel awkward and weird and emotional. I have little idea why and it bugs me.

I dislike how one day I can feel great, rock, pretty awesome, then the next day I wake up feeling odd and awkward.

I know that I have to rely on God, on His promises, that my feelings don't really count. They do count though, it's how I feel. I suppose sometimes you have to ignore how you feel and trust in the Truth.

Psalm 46v10-11
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Maybe I need a few days offline. What would be good now is a long drive with loud music.

I had things to say, but I'm tired now. Yawn.

Ok. Well I went to bed last night feeling wonderful, I mean, I won at bowling so that was good hehe, but I felt good about pretty much everything. I woke up this morning feeling pathetic, awkward and irritable.

I have no idea why.

I prayed. That's what counts. I keep coming back to God's promises lately. It's not all that important how we feel. Cling to God's promises, they don't change. Realize how God feels about you and everything changes. Thank you Father.

Ok, I would love to be profound, but I'm really too tired :) Thank you for those of you who encouraged me today. You truly Rock.

Away to bed.

Let That Be Enough

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With no where to land

And all I see it could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love, me
And let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one hear could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love, me
And let that be enough
Switchfoot

We went bowling tonight. I won. Yay!

There may eventually be pictures. Goodnight.

Alrighty.

This weekend has been good. We had Ignite Saturday night. Lots of kids came, I didn't count how many this time, but there were LOTS. I'm so excited about what God's doing at church, especially with the youth work. It's like, I can look at it, and think 'yeah, that's great, things are moving along' but they really are..more than I can ever remember before. Tonight I suggested to some of the guys that we get together and worship, chat about stuff and pray for their friends and they were totally up for it! Sometimes you can just see things happening and peoples attitudes change, you can see God working things out, and that's how it feels. It's really cool.

I lead worship tonight too. I had to pick some guys up who needed a lift to church. I picked them up and on the way back I accidently cut this guy up on the road. I am a terrible driver. I admit it. I used to be a good driver but it's all gone a bit pear-shaped. hehe. Well, the guy went completely mental, he raced to get in front of me and stopped at some lights. Then get got out of his car and started ranting at me through my window. He wanted to know if I was drunk! I was so not drunk, I mean, I don't drink and if I did, well it's a Sunday man, what sort of a Christian did he think I was? Of course he didn't know I was a Christian, and I wasn't about to tell him while he was ranting at me, and my driving would've been a terrible witness anyway ;) Then he totally smacked my window with his fist..he must have hurt his hand, he called me something I'm not going to repeat and went back to his car.

I just sat there the whole time and said pretty much nothing. That guy needed to chillout. I bet he's NEVER cut anyone up or anything. Chillout man, take a pill. So I finally got to church, alive, which was nice. I felt a bit ashamed of my driving, I had passengers, will they ever get in the car with me again!? Who knows. They were cool about it, it was quite funny really and it was an accident. If you're that guy who smacked my window and you're reading this, CHILLOUT MAN!

Then my guitar battery was flat, I had to run around and find another, then my guitar lead stopped working, so I had to get another one of those too. It was that kind of moment, you know? when pretty much everything is going wrong.

I didn't feel too relaxed really. What I love though is when things all seem to be going a bit wrong, and you don't feel at all ready or capable of doing something and then God just steps in and it's all ok. God is so awesome. When we are weak, He is strong! If it takes broken guitar leads, flat batteries and a case of extreme road rage to bring me to the point where I have to trust God with stuff, then so be it. That's where I want to be. What can I do by myself? Not much. With God though, all things are possible, He makes the difference and works all things together for His purposes. It really blows my mind.

I try not to take myself to seriously. Sometimes I fail, but that's ok. I know that I'm quite capable of making a fool out of myself, that I sometimes do stupid stuff (like getting behind the wheel of a car) and that I mess up, but so what? And if people get a laugh out of me being a bit of a dork sometimes then good, laughing is good. I think as long as you have you eyes fixed in the right place, that you're looking to Jesus and following Him, then a bit of silliness is ok. Enjoy life, why get stressed about it? I say that with complete understanding that there are situations and circumstances where there will be sorrow, stress, difficulty and sadness. Life can be hard, it can be tough and a struggle. If that's you, then my advice is still that you put your trust in Christ, He is always sufficient. As a general rule though, try and enjoy yourself where possible. I think that's really ok with God. Love Him and have a good time. When it gets hard, trust Him all the more, He'll be holding you, feeling your pain, helping you through it. If you trust in God, either way you can't loose.

I'm rambling, but that's ok too. It's my blog. You don't mind do you?

So, how was your Sunday?

I wanted to write something. Maybe something profound, beautiful. Alas I am tired and my brain has powered down. Perhaps you could make a comment, making it profound, beautiful to make up for my lack of beautiful profoundness.

Share a little something.

Is anyone getting rather sick of that picture to the right over there? Because It's really starting to get on my nerves. Seriously.

Something burns inside of me, deep within the depths of my being. If I look into that place I'm overcome with a passion I cannot describe, a joy and strength I cannot put into words. What breaks my heart is that I only seem to glance momentarily toward this place, when it could be a constant source of strength and peace. It's God. So close I forget He's there, closer than my skin. Living in me! I don't think I'll ever get my head around that. How about you?

Certain things focus my attention beautifully on Him, on what matters, wonderfully distracting me from all my silly distractions. Someone reminded me of my love for Hymns. I'm so thankful for new songs, music, styles of worship, but very few modern choruses touch my heart in quite the same way as Amazing Grace, Come Thou Fount of every blessing and It is well, with my soul. There's a truth, an honesty, a reverence to these hymns. It's not easy to describe. The make my heart burn and bring tears to my eyes.

I get the same feeling when I thumb through my grandfathers old leather bible. I have one quite like it now, but I love to handle and read his, I love to smell it. It reminds me of him. It reminds me of his faithfulness to God, the reverence he had for the Lord and also the respect that people had for him. It reminds me of all those faithful elders who have been there throughout my years in church, living examples of faith.

I want to be just as faithful, an example of faith and love just as they were. It's so inspiring. It reminds me of Hebrews 12. In the previous chapter it takes about men and women who followed God, who had gone before. Hebrews 12v1-3 says..

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I'm so thankful for those who've gone before me and set me such an awesome example, I want to do the same for those coming after me.

To be honest I've completely lost track of what I'm trying to say! hehe..I've been typing this on and off for a few hours...but what's important is that God is faithful and He loves us. Press on, strain towards the goal! :)

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing - Robert Robinson

I really do feel quite a bit better.

Love has good manners and does not take
selfish advantage.
It is not arrogant but rather
breaks down barriers.
It is not touchy and does not gloat
over the downfall of others.
Composed and gentle, love possesses
an inner strength and warmth.

Take a moment when it's offered,
while caught in traffic
or waiting for a plane.
These light-filled breathing spots
are spaces where inventions
are devised, sonnets composed.

Ouch. My head still hurts! It's complaining that I'm not sleeping enough. Tonight I must get an early night, I must! I'm hopeless at going to bed early. I don't do it very well at all.

I can't think of much else to say at this point, with a throbbing head. So here's a very cool verse to read and put into practice instead.

Hebrews 10v23-25
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Spur one another on! Love and encourage! Ok? :)

Today has felt a little 'unreal' or something. Like there were a million things I was supposed to do, and I didn't really get many of those done. I've also had a funny head, not an ache, more like a kind of pressure. I get this. It comes and goes. I think it's tension related.

My brother has a blog. We're still working on it and changing the design every three minutes, but you should take a look, and send him email! Say hi!

I'm sitting at my desk right now, and I know I should be in bed. Why am I not in bed? Alseep? Well, I asked myself this same question and it has to do with there being no bells. You know at school? when there was a change of class? or it was break or lunch time? There was a bell right? You knew you had to stop what you were doing and do something else. Simple. The bell told you. I think perhaps life needs bells. Then you would know where you are, and where you need to get going to next.

I could do with hearing a bell right now, and not just one telling me to goto sleep.

Oh I am silly ;) G'night.

God has a plan for my life. How awesome is that? He knows the desires of my heart and He knows what's best for me. I'm looking to Him for my next step and I know, that if I put my trust completely in Him, I will not be disappointed.

Psalm 139v1-4 & 23, 24

LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Sometimes I log in to Blogger, not knowing what I'm going to type. Then I realize I have nothing to type, so I log out.

“Choices will continually be necessary and - let us not forget - possible. Obedience to God is always possible. It is a deadly error to fall into the notion that when feelings are extremely strong we can do nothing but act on them.”
Elizabeth Elliot, Discipline: The Glad Surrender

I delight in how it feels, when after twenty minutes of finely tuning my guitar it sounds perfect. Completely in tune.

Zephaniah 3v17
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

I love this verse. It was the subject of tonights message at church.

It's just so encouraging! God is with me, what have I got to fear if God is with me? Do you ever catch yourself worrying and you don't even know what you're worrying about? It's crazy, and we don't have to either. God is with us, always. Not Only that, but He's also mighty to save. No matter what situation or circumstance you are going through right now, God is able to help you through it. He knows all about where you are and what's going on and He is completely able to save you in that situation and get you through it.

I have a hard time accepting that God takes great delight in me sometimes. I know what I'm like, but then so does God, and He loves me, he delights in me. I really want to grasp how much God loves me. I know I never will, but I just want to experience more and more of His love and for my love for Him to grow and increase. I think it's so awesome that He delights in me..it kind of blows me away.

And this is the best of all, He will quiet me with His love. I just don't have words to express how I feel about that. It's like when you're upset and have all these worries and concerns and you're crying your head off to someone and ranting about stuff, and then you're just held, you and you feel safe and cared for and loved. That's how God is with us. There's something wonderful about Just being still before God, getting a perspective of who He is, knowing that He is bigger than your problems. Knowing that He is God. It's hard to be still sometimes, but here we read that He will quiet us with His love. Sometimes words just don't measure up.

He rejoices over me with song. We're pretty used to singing to (or at) God. But He sings over us. He rejoices over us with singing. That's pretty awesome. Just get a fresh perspective of how much God loves you. It's amazing, why would he bother with us? I have no idea, but He does, He loves us, more than we can possibly begin to imagine. Just try and get hold of that. It totally changes how you view yourself.

Well, I also re-committed my life to God tonight. Things have been a bit up and down for me for a long time. I haven't spent much time with God, when I have it's because I had to, then I clung to Him and He was still there for me, which I'm so thankful for, but I haven't been living the kind of life that God wants me to live. So tonight there was an opportunity to get that sorted out and say to God that I'm serious about Him and that I want to make a re-commitment to follow Him. It feels good, like I'm in the right place, that I'm right with Him. It's cool. If you pray, pray that I push through stuff I need to push through and that God will strengthen me. I want to get growing my love for Him.

And if you don't know God, then talk to Him now and ask Him to save you and come into your life. It's real! God loves you and wants to know you and be part of your life. Just talk to Him, you will never regret it. Email me if you need to talk about it.

Well, I need to sleep. Night goobers.

Prayer meeting at church tonight rocked. It was so cool. I wanted to pray all night and Rob gave his testimony and it was awesome. Just to stand from the stage and see my friends, and people I've been praying for for ages, worshipping God..it's amazing.

I'm so tired, but I'm buzzing. Is sleep possible? I guess we'll see. Nite kids.

I was totally hyper tonight. It's 2am and I'm still not tired. I find this really weird as I've not been sleeping very well lately, I should be tired and drained right now, and asleep.

You know I think it's incredibly important to be yourself, even when that might mean you seem like a weirdo sometimes. I think I am a weirdo anyway, I'm almost convinced of it ;) The point is I think I used to worry far too much about what people thought of me and if I was accepted or not. It doesn't matter. I feel more secure about myself in many ways now than I ever have, and yet I'm also so unsure about my future and where I'm headed. I'm ok with that though because God does know where I'm headed and he has a plan for my life, even if I can't see it.

I enjoyed being hyper, I haven't been hyper in a while. Perhaps it was the parmesan cheese. (there was pizza tonight)

Si became a Christian tonight :) We've been praying for this dude for ages and it totally rocks that he's given his life to Jesus. I said in my last post that the youth work is changing, that they're getting saved and they're excited about knowing God. It's such an encouragement to me, I haven't felt very motivated towards God lately. In many ways I've been clinging to Him, in other ways I haven't. It's hard to explain. What I do know is that hearing Si, Rob and Amy talk about God, witnessing and talking to their friends about the hope they have is spurring me on. It's awesome. Thank you guys (and girl).

I will go to bed now. I think it's time. What are your plans for the weekend?