I'm so tired.

Tired, Hot and Sleepy. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm so glad, I can sleep and relax and turn my brain off which isn't working anyway because it's too tired.

I want to write more but I'm falling asleep, being tired and all.

Snore.

Ok. Well Matrix Reloaded was pretty amazing. We're going to see it again soon, there's so much you miss the first time.

Anyway, enough of the Matrix.

I can't wait to go on holiday.Ten days to go and then Natalie and I will be chilling out by the sea for a week. However I have a birthday before then!! Have I mentioned this before?

I feel like I've lost the ability to write anything vaguely interesting here..I'm sure it'll come back, but right now it's a bit of a struggle..

Tonight we're going to see a play called Darwin In Malibu.

Ok, I'm really out of things to say..later.

I was going to write about how great the weekend was, how amazing Matrix Reloaded was and a million other things that happened the past three days but I've been very busy today so it'll have to wait till later..

I will post later on. How was your weekend?

"No excuse is good enough. The next time you think you have an
excuse why God can't use you, remember the following people: Noah was
drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Leah
was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses was a murderer (like David and Paul),
Deborah was a female judge, Gideon was afraid, Samson had long hair, Rahab
was a prostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David pretended to
be mad, had an affair and ran away from his own son, Elijah was suicidal,
Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran away from God, Naomi was a widow, Job lost
everything, John the Baptist ate locusts, Peter was hot-tempered, John was
self-righteous, the disciples fell asleep while praying, Martha was worried
about everything, Mary was too lazy, Mary Magdalene was demon-possessed,
the boy with the fish and five rolls of bread was too unknown (and still
is), the Samaritan woman slept with many men, Zacchaeus was too small,
Peter was too impulsive, Mark had given up, Timothy had a stomach ulcer,
and Lazarus - he was dead." - Anonymous

What is it about 80's music? Why is it so good?

Well, it's not just 80's music is it? It's 80's films, TV shows, everything pretty much..the fashion and hairstyles were pretty weird, but even that was good in an '80's' way.

Anyway..I don't really know why it's so good...but even Matrix reloaded can't really compare in my book to Back to the Future (alternatively pick any number of eighties films). Don't get me wrong I can't wait to see Reloaded..;)

In the past two days I think I've drunk at least six cans of coke. This is not good. From now on it's water for me. Maybe a hot chocolate......Pepsi?

Tonight is Youth, we're talking about Keeping the Sabbath Holy and who know's, maybe we'll watch the electric hamster walk like an Egyptian again. Then later on, I'll introduce Natalie to Amelie (same number of syllables...hmmmm int-er-est-ing).

Tomorrow is SATURDAY..Yay. I shall maybe, clean my car because, well, it'd be the first time since I bought it and I'm starting to have to deal with real guilt issues about the state of my interior. Then we're off, most likely to see the Matrix - Reloaded, maybe...who knows.

Sunday is my brothers birthday! Happy Birthday Bro. We will be eating Chinese (food) for lunch...yum yum yum ying yang!

Monday is a bank holiday! Another three day weekend! Nat and I will be out saving the planet from heinous aliens driving them away using garlic dip and Hillsongs....that or something else..

Then on Tuesday, it'll be exactly ONE WEEK until my birthday! ONE WEEK PEOPLE!!! You're running out of time to send me gifts! I can't stress this enough! You must purchase and post within the next couple of days or I wont receive your expensive and imaginative surprises...thanks.

Then on the 7th of June it's Holiday time! HOLIDAY! It's taking to long to get here..much to long.

So there you go..

What are your plans for the weekend?

There's a lot going on in my head, but I don't know how to write it down!

What I do know is that it's my birthday soon, did I mention that? ;) I did didn't I? Did I?

Look, I'll be back later on with something other than this waffle...promise.

Last night Natalie and I went to see How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I thought it'd be amusing or something, but it was actually a really good, fun film. I'm sure some of you will protest saying it's a 'no brainer' or a chick flick, well it was a chick flick, but I like chick flicks....so sue me, it was a good film.

We also saw it in the Gold Class cinema which was cool, with adjustable leather seats, such amazing seatage...seats to ROCK YOUR WORLD BABY!!

Anyway...

Psalm 119:10
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

God wants us to seek Him. He loves us more than we can imagine, He died for us so that we can live, and have a relationship with Him, but He wants us to seek Him. I think it's our thirst for God that determines the level of intimacy we experience in our relationship with Him. If we're happy to just spend a few minutes with God each day, God won't love us any less than if we spend 24 hours a day with Him. He can't love you any more than He does right now. But if we truly hunger and thirst for more of Him, if we make knowing more of Him and falling in love with Him more, the desire of our heart, if we seek Him with all of our strength, then we will find Him, and our relationship with Him will be so much deeper.

God has so much He wants to bless us with, He blesses us every day in more ways than we can imagine yet we miss most of it because we're too busy looking at life, worrying, holding onto things so tightly...when all we need to do is look to Him.

A friend of mine said that sometimes God hides because He wants us to go and find Him. I think that He might very well be right. God has promised though, that if we seek Him, we shall find Him.

Go and seek God out.

Hey goobers.

The weekend was good! I got some new clothes for our holidays! Although one shirt already got soaked in the rain and a t-shirt got drenched in doggy snot. Good girl Sophie :)

Saturday night Natalie and I went to her sisters to say hi and to eat. Chicken Fajitas and Fruit/Chocolate Fondue.. Yum Yum Yum. Perfect! Seriously...

Sunday we went out for lunch and I lead worship at church which was pretty alright.

So, anyway, enough of that, lets get down to business. It's my birthday on the 3rd of June. I'm not telling you this for any real reason, just as a point of information. You could, for instance, write it down in your diary or something. If you happen to be in some cool shop somewhere you could buy me something...you could..it's at least possible no? Or you could buy me something from my wish list..

I'm just giving you some options, that's all..if you can't stretch to a gift (sheesh), then maybe you could send me an email saying something like 'Hey James! Happy Birthday!'. Anything like that will do. Anything at all...

Yes, the photography section of my website also needs seriously updating.

You should all go and buy a Bebo Norman CD right now.

My 'About me' section needs seriously updating.

I know I'm having a bit of a 'post some lyrics fest', but sometimes they say it better than the words we come up with ourselves.

You know those songs or albums that you sort of 'need' at certain times in your life or day or when you feel a certain way? Well one of mine is by Tree63. Most of the songs totally speak to me in some way, echoing the way I'm feeling and bringing me back into focus. I've been listening to it today. This song is called 'Have your way'. I think in the subtlest of ways my focus has drifted from Jesus lately, even though I've been excited about what He's doing and what He's going to do, I've taken my eyes just a little off the one who's doing it. I woke this morning feeling weak and fragile. I don't mind being weak, In fact I love it because then Christ is my strength! I'm not so keen on feeling anxious, but that's just because my focus and trust wasn't in Christ. I never want to forget the point of my life, to know Christ, to fall more in love with Him and to do the works He's prepared in advance for me to do. Take me, Lord I pray, just have Your way with me.

Jesus can we talk tonight like when we first met?
I'm such a long way from Your love, why can't I see You yet?

Take me, have Your way, though I don't feel You I will believe
Take me, Lord I pray, just have Your way with me.

Lord I know it's time to go, deeper waters call
I can't resist Your Spirit's flow, I'm not afraid at all

Take me, have Your way, though I don't feel You I will believe
Take me, Lord I pray, just have Your way with me.

I am Yours, and You are mine,
Friend to me for all of time.

And all I have now, I give to You;
And all I want now, is to be pure,
Pure like You.

I'm not afraid of earthly things,
For I am safe with You, my King.

©1997 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
Words and Music by David Gate

Listening to: If you love someone, set them free, Sting.

Finding out new things about yourself can be pretty painful and annoying. In fact being able to turn off certain emotions altogether would be a pretty neat human feature.

Sometimes I just feel silly and childish about how I feel about some things, like I should have learned to deal with this situation by now or that at my age I should be grown up enough to know how to behave if that happens but whatever your age or your level of maturity your feelings are your feelings and you just have to learn to deal with them.

I think if you start to seek God then you open yourself up to be broken. God will strip away the damaged outer layers of your life so He can use you more effectively, so He can draw you closer to Him. All the rough edges and baggage we carry around has to go. The same is true in new relationships, when you meet someone new you change, you can't help it, it's not a bad thing necessarily, every person in our life affects us in either a positive or negative way. If the relationship is positive and wholesome and especially if it's of God, then only positive change will be seen in your life. That's a good thing! It's not always easy though.

There are qualities of myself that I don't like. Feelings that I hate to feel. Attitudes that need to go. I want to be like Jesus. I really do. I don't want to have to carry around all the negative stuff in my life till I leave this earth, I want it dealt with now, I want to ditch it and run a little faster, you know?

We all have stuff in our lives that needs to go, but it's easy to live with it and get used to dealing with it, or even not dealing with it. I don't want to get used to any of this stuff, I want to throw it off.

I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say. It helps to write it down though. I'm not unhappy or depressed. I'm really happy and excited about the future and what God is going to do in my life..it's just I know right now He's also stripping stuff out of my life and that can be uncomfortable.

The best thing you can do is put God first. Make Him your focus and your Lord. If God is center of your life then you can't go wrong. If God is the center of the relationships in your life then they'll grow strong and will last, they're become exactly what God has planned for them to be.

It's easy to start putting other things before God, even without meaning to, even while you're praying that God will be first. You constantly need to check up on yourself, check up on each other and make sure you're where you should be with God. If you get that right...well, you're laughing ain't ya! :)

Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have
And ever hope to be

All of my
Ambitions, hopes, and plans
I surrender these
Into your hands

For it's only in
Your will that I am free
For it's only in
Your will that I am free

©1991 Word's Spirit of Praise Music
Words and Music by Robin Mark and Jennifer Atkinson

Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been a busy little chap, or something.

I should be pretty tired, but I'm not. I will be later. Airports at 4am. Yeah baby!

God is so good. He knows everything that happens to us, He knows all the things we're going through and how we feel. He knows the desires of our heart and is able to fulfill every single one. All we have to do is honor and trust Him.

I have other stuff I could write, but I can't construct a proper sentence, so maybe I'll try later, or tomorrow.

I added a few links to some of you guys, let me know if I've missed you out.

G'day.

I had a really good weekend & yesterday Natalie and I went to the Black Country Museum where we cued for a whole hour just to get fish and chips and spent an hour in a sweet shop getting high on Kali.

I don't really understand life. I don't know why one minute we can feel wonderful and in the next breath we feel like everything is falling apart. I don't know why for no particular reason we sometimes feel down and then the slightest little thing can lift us higher than we've known before. I don't know why we have to hurt, I can't understand why we have to hurt each other and how sometimes we can't help hurting the ones we care about and love.

It seems impossible to understand the heart and what goes on in your head and even more difficult to be able to control the way we feel. I thank God for the things in my life that I'm totally sure about right now, God is awesome and He has amazing plans for each of us. Plans that we can't even begin to imagine. He only wants the best for us. He knows the desires of our heart and is more than able to satisfy all that we long for. Don't give up! Keep pressing on, pressing into all that God has for you. Seek Him with all of your heart and trust Him with your future. Nothing in your past is wasted either if your future is in Christ. You are perfectly safe in Him.

So you don't need to understand it, just trust God. Let Him lead you on, fix your eyes on Him. It's so easy to say, it's not so easy to do is it? Well I actually think it might be just that easy, we just make it really hard for ourselves..but then we're human, but then God is God and He can do so much more than we can even ask or imagine! Trust Him and see what happens no? :)

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Ephesians 3:19-21
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I seriously need to get taking some pictures before I forget how. I've been such a camera slacker lately.

Thanks for all the stuff you told me about yourselves. If could think of any interesting stuff to tell you about me that you don't know then I'd tell you, but I just ate and that stops my brain working for at least 2 hours, plus it's Friday afternoon, so, well... Ask me questions..what do you want to know? Shoot!

It's another nice three day weekend starting at 5.30 tonight! Woo!

Ok, that's it. I'll write something better soon.

Who on earth reads this? I know some of you, but anyway, say hi in my comments..especially if you never have! If I know you, tell me something new about yourself :)

Psalm 18:1 & 2

I love you, O LORD , my strength.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

There are all kinds of situations in life that can make you feel insecure, afraid, discouraged or even terrified. I don't like not being in control of things in my life and even worse I tend to worry about things too much when I should just trust God. Worry is a lack of trust. Maybe it's not quite as simple as that, maybe it is, but worrying robs you of enjoying the present and I even think that worrying about something can sometimes cause things to happen that probably wouldn't have happened if there was less worrying going on. It's not always easy to quit worrying either, trust is something that you constantly have to do. God has it all in hand, but if we insist on thinking about it, worrying about it and we don't leave it in His all sufficient hands then there's not much that He can do to give us His peace.

The thing is, God will never leave us or give up on us. He goes with us into every situation, in fact He goes before us! I don't always feel very strong and courageous but that's what God is calling us to be. In Joel 3:10 there's a verse that says 'Let the weakling say, "I am strong'. We can pray for God's strength, we can pray for His peace or pretty much anything, but we have to then have faith to believe God has supplied our need, that He's in control, and we have to trust Him. We have to almost put on God's strength. The verse says be strong. Maybe that's something we have to do once we realise that God is with us and that He is more than strong enough in every situation.

Well, I'm still working on perfecting all that ;) How about you?

Anyway, last night I went to a Victorian period fancy dress murder mystery/meal 21st birthday party dressed as a vampire...