I've just cried. Only this time it's the result of Joy rather than despair.

I don't think I can write about it here, it's a little to close to my heart, but someone's just given me some hope, someone I really hurt. I never wanted to hurt that person, I want nothing but the best for her, nothing but the very best of what God has for her, she'll always mean so very much to me, more than she probably thinks right now. She's always been my best friend too, regardless of the other things we've been to each other, and the thought of loosing that aswell as everything else has been unbearable.

I've been praying, shouting at God, asking for healing, something good to happen, a reason why, some reconconsilation. Tonight we had a conversation.

I know it's still not going to be easy, but it gave me some hope.